Free kindle Pirate – Z55z.co

My Love,They call me privateer cold, ruthless, brazen and bold Yet, from the first moment I saw you, I was overcome You were but a helpless child, orphaned and innocent, when I rescued you from almost certain defilement and death and whisked you off to my Caribbean island hideaway to be shockingly pampered by my loyal crewAnd now you are a woman as beautiful as the dawnand as wildly unpredictable as the winds and the sea You are in my blood, cara mia your breathtaking loveliness haunts my dreams But to have you, I first must tame you to awaken you to the dangerous ecstasy of a pirate s passionsand a lover s touch What should I do with the Fabio crawling around on a sandy beach poster that was inside this book Place it over my TV for a weird juxtaposition of seeing Uber Man Fabio while I m watching Criminal Minds play break the cutie with Dr Reid I think this is the only option. I bought this book as a deterrent for a youth group any boy caught calling a girl bitch or ho would have to read a few pages aloud to the rest of the group Amazingly, once I read them a random selection, that language completely disappeared from the group meetings Thanks, Fabio No, wait, let me explain I originally bought this as a joke It was in the paperback rack at the library book sale As if I would pay full price for this, seriously It s one of those ironic book purchases you know, the kind that you re not seriously considering reading, you just thought it would be funny to have on the coffee table when friends came over and everybody has a good laugh over it I mean, it can t actually be any good, right I mean, look at it all paperbacky and stuff, with No, wait, let me explain I originally bought this as a joke It was in the paperback rack at the library book sale As if I would pay full price for this, seriously It s one of those ironic book purchases you know, the kind that you re not seriously considering reading, you just thought it would be funny to have on the coffee table when friends came over and everybody has a good laugh over it I mean, it can t actually be any good, right I mean, look at it all paperbacky and stuff, with a shirtless Fabio on the cover, his golden locks of hair flowing in the breeze, his chiseled pectorals, that penetrating stare, that Pfft, what a big moron that guy is, huh His name, handwritten as if he actually wrote the book the first page says in collaboration with Eugenia Riley, and we all know he probably gave her some ideas but that she wrote the whole thing in big print And the title, Pirate in big BOLD letters, like, LOOK AT ME I m a BOOK Seriously, who reads this crapSo, I, um, read the book.I m sorry, really I am, but it just kept staring at me from the coffee table It just kept sitting there, waiting to be read, and you know how I am with lonely books I m a sucker for them, even the trashy ones I just figured, what s the harm in opening it up and reading, like, the first two pages Just, you know, give it a chance, see what it has to offer It s not like I have to commit to it or anythingBut you know me I m the type of guy who, once I start a book, I have to finish it Call it OCD, anal retentiveness, whatever I couldn t just stop after the first two pages, let s be realistic It meant nothing, though, really Just a quick, harmless read Silly, really And yet, it haunts me It s laughable purple prose, it s ridiculous plot, it s constant reference to things like engorged member and heaving bosoms I just can t shake the memory of it It was just a bodice ripper, a throw away, a trashy romance, a oh, who am I kidding I actually liked it God, it feels so liberating to say that I liked it It was entertaining It was fun Sure, it wasn t great Even though Fabio isn t a great writer, at least he knows how to use spell check And there s a little bit of Fabio on every page Oh, no, wait, that s just I Can t Believe It s Not Butter that spilled off the toast I was eating while I read Granted, it could have used a little less build up to the first sex scene which happens right around page 268 , the little tease that it is, but once you get there, DAMN, it s good And the sex scenes happen every other page, it seems, after that Real torrid, steamy stuff And yet innocently playful No kinky, weird shit, either, unless you consider a 40 year old pirate having sex with his 19 year old virgin ward that he s been watching over since she was 12 and passing off as his niece Yeah, okay, that s kinda wrong But other than that, it s pretty decent stuff.Do I feel embarrassed A little Would I read it again Absolutely Uh, I mean, No, actually, no, no, I wouldn t This review has been hidden because it contains spoilers To view it, click here Privateer Marco Galviano rescues 12 year old Christina Abbott from being raped and killed by the Spanish, takes her to his island and spoils her rotten without realizing the chit is completely in love with him though how she even knew what love was at 12 is beyond me Flash forward six years Christina is now eighteen almost on the shelf and she s trying to remind Marco of the promise he made her six years ago, of one day when she s old and wise enough marrying her There s a slight proble Privateer Marco Galviano rescues 12 year old Christina Abbott from being raped and killed by the Spanish, takes her to his island and spoils her rotten without realizing the chit is completely in love with him though how she even knew what love was at 12 is beyond me Flash forward six years Christina is now eighteen almost on the shelf and she s trying to remind Marco of the promise he made her six years ago, of one day when she s old and wise enough marrying her There s a slight problem, though, he thinks of her as his sister a sick, perv of a brother having impure thoughts about his little sister.Well, she s determined, so much in fact, she drives every other woman away, tries to make him jealous almost ending being raped , to get rid of her and his improper and impure thoughts about her he arranges a marriage for her which she shamelessly exploits to make him evenjealous, he finally succumbs to his baser instincts, proceeds in thoroughly bedding her for the rest of the book, all the while juggling assassins, kidnappers, scorned women, Christina s doubts, his own doubt, etc.until the requisite HEA.Yay Standing ovation for this masterpiece of fiction Nah, just kidding Though, from what I wrote this would seem a pretty solid little historical romance if you cut out a few mistress scenes , a lot bratty heroine scenes , an equal amount of idiot male scenes , and my words in brackets.If someone else wrote it, maybe, just maybe this could ve worked Having been written by Fabio on the other hand, this was a perfect male fantasy and should be despite the genre read by male population only who would see in this a perfect bodice ripper, while I merely saw a book ripper in the making.The plot aside, this was amateurishly written where was the mysterious collaborator when this was going down , idiotic, women demeaning with yet another heroine I abhorred , embarrassing, stupid, juvenile, fill in the blanks with every bad adjective out there , written from a completely male point of view, and an utter waste of time, energy, and brain cells.Instead of being to laugh stupid as I secretly expected, it made me cringe from beginning to end A sad excuse for a historical romance A sad excuse for a work of fiction all together